Addiction and Relationships
Drug addiction is not a one-person battle. It impacts the entire community. While it can physically and psychologically consume the addicted individual, it reaches out to deeply impact others involved in the addicted person’s life. The intersection of addiction and relationships is a complex condition consisting of emotional highs, devastating lows and profound misunderstandings. Whether it is a spouse, a parent, or a lifelong friend, watching someone you love struggle with substance abuse can impact your relationship.
Substance addiction is a chronic disorder characterized by compulsive drug-seeking behaviors. It can change the brain chemistry, impair impulse control and prioritize the need to use drugs above all else. This includes above other people and your relationships within your community.
Family and community support are so important for recovery from addiction. But it can be challenging when addiction can also negatively impact the relationship between the addict and their support community. With addiction, unhealthy patterns of behavior can occur that impact relationships with people in your lives. It can harm the connections with family members, friends, partners and even coworkers.
Addiction and Relationships: How it impacts the Family Unit
The impact of substance use disorder on family dynamics cannot be overstated. Attitudes, perspectives and roles in the house begin changing in order to accommodate the chaos and challenges of addiction. In some cases, partners can become caretakers, and children may become silent observers trying to maintain an even emotional environment at home.
When addressing addiction and family relationships, there is often a breakdown in trust, financial stability and chronic stress. This type of environment can be detrimental to anyone, especially younger members of the household. The impact of paternal substance abuse on child development is well documented.
- Emotional neglect. The addicted parent is consumed by their drug addiction and the sober parent is consumed with constantly having to manage the crisis.
- Developmental delays. Being in an environment that produces chronic stress alters brain development and can lead to potential learning disabilities and behavioral changes.
- Future risks. There is a higher predisposition to developing a drug addiction or mental health disorder later in life.
The impact of Addiction on Relationships within your Support System
Addiction can impact relationships in many different ways. One of the most common frustrations is deception and lies. When addicts begin to recognize how serious their addiction is, it can often become a source of shame, guilt and fear. This leads them to engage in secretive behaviors and lying about their use or about its negative impact on their lives.
Lying and deception often lead to a loss of trust. The emotional distance, distrust, jealousy, and fear can all impact relationships.
In some cases, violence and abuse can occur as a result of drug addiction. Addiction increases stress and conflict at home and it can also increase aggressive behavior. Abuse of all kinds can happen in any type of relationship and can cause suffering to the addict’s friends, family and loved ones.
Addiction can also cause enabling and co-dependency. Enabling relationships occur when loved ones step in thinking they are protecting the addict from the consequences of their actions. But they are actually making things worse. They end up taking on the addict’s responsibilities and accepting blame for their behavior and making excuses for them. All of this continues to enable the addict to continue using without fear of consequences.
There is a difference between supporting a loved one and enabling a loved one. Enabling an addict protects them from the natural consequences of their actions. Supporting a loved one offers love and encouragement for positive changes while allowing them to face the consequences for their drug addiction.
A co-dependent relationship can also develop. It is often a one-sided relationship where a loved one continuously suffers due to the addict. Common signs of codependency in substance abuse include a partner constantly tracking the addict’s mood, feeling responsible for their sobriety, and beginning to neglect their own well-being in favor of their loved one’s addiction recovery. It leaves them feeling responsible for their loved one’s drug addiction
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Drug addiction impacts emotions that directly impact a relationship
- Mood swings. Intense mood swings can make it difficult to maintain any type of relationship.
- Prioritize substance use above all else. This can lead to risky decisions that can not only hurt the user, but hurt others around them.
- Lack of empathy. Substance abuse often impairs a person’s ability to empathize with others and this creates barriers in relationships.
- Poor decision making. Oftentimes, addicts can lose control over impulses and making them more likely to engage in risky behaviors.
- Selfishness. Drug addiction can make some people more self-centered and prioritize their needs for drug use over others, even those they care about.
Addiction can numb a person’s emotions and prevent them from fully experiencing and expressing their feeling. This makes it more difficult to connect with others on a more intimate and deeper level. Mind-altering drugs work to disrupt the brain’s reward system, which can also make it challenging to cultivate genuine intimate connections with others.
Addiction’s impact on Romantic Relationships
Drug abuse also impacts romantic relationships. There is no definite answer as to how likely a person is to stay in a relationship with a person who has become seriously addicted to drugs. One study found that both men’s and women’s happiness in their relationship declined once their partners’ drug use began to increase.
- Loss of intimacy. When someone is addicted to drugs, they will naturally start to spend less quality time with their partner or spouse in favor of drug use.
- Secrecy, dishonesty, and lying. When in a relationship with an addict, there is a breach of trust with their partner due to lying about how they spend their money on drugs and hiding from their partner.
- Financial strain. A drug addiction can cause huge financial strain as the addict begins using all the money on drugs instead of paying for food, rent and other necessities.
- Trust and communication. Broken promises, yelling or violence can tear a relationship apart.
- Safety. In some cases of addiction, the addict can turn violent and the relationship can suffer from emotional abuse, verbal abuse or even sexual abuse.
Reach out to Hotel California by the Sea
We specialize in treating addiction and other co-occurring disorders, such as PTSD. Our Admissions specialists are available to walk you through the best options for treating your addiction.
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Addiction can severely impact relationships. One cannot change without profoundly impacting the other. Addiction can strip relationships of their core components: trust, safety and mutual respect. But with professional help, healing is possible. It is important that these relationships are addressed during addiction treatment.
Hotel California by the Sea provides treatment at all levels of care, including detox, residential, PHP and IOP. We utilize evidence-based methods such as CBT, DBT and family therapy. Hotel California by the Sea is dedicated to helping clients reach their goals in sobriety and overcome their addiction.
References:
https://www.addictions.com/explore/relationships-and-drugs
https://medmark.com/resources/blog/how-does-drug-addiction-affect-relationships
https://www.psychiatrynyc.com/blog/how-does-addiction-impact-relationships/
https://clearbehavioralhealth.com/why-an-addict-cant-love-you/
https://hcrcenters.com/blog/how-drug-addiction-affects-relationships
